


Blue Eyes Blazing (and he's going to be my wife)

by patientalien



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton
Genre: Jerry the Tentacle Demon - Freeform, Other, Qui-Gon has a certain set of skills, Snacking poncho, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 05:12:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/922404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patientalien/pseuds/patientalien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi-Wan has gone missing again, but Qui-Gon has nachos and he's sure he'll turn up eventually.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Eyes Blazing (and he's going to be my wife)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Profit and Loss Margins for a Tentacle Dungeon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/911263) by [patientalien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/patientalien/pseuds/patientalien). 



> Written for my lovely Jessica, who also came up with the title :)

The apartment is suspiciously quiet. It's not as though Obi-Wan is a particularly loud apprentice, but his presence still leaves an imprint both in the Force and the fact he is constantly following Qui-Gon around trying his hardest to please him.

It's not that Qui-Gon doesn't appreciate the effort. He likes that Obi-Wan is so willing to do things like the dishes, and vacuuming. Plus there's the fact he's not too unpleasant to look at, and not ENTIRELY as clumsy as everyone seems to think he is. He's shaping up to be a pretty good Jedi, all things told. But right now the apartment is empty.

He looks in all of Obi-Wan's usual spots: under the bed, in the coat closet, behind a curtain, but he isn't anywhere. He tries calling out to him, both aloud and through the Force and still nothing. He isn't particularly worried, though - Obi-Wan disappears pretty frequently and always shows up again a few hours later, all disheveled and claiming Xanatos du Crion has had his way with him again. At first, it had troubled him. Xanatos was his former apprentice, turned Dark, and the idea of him at large, trying to get to him through his new apprentice... Well, it made him angry. Not extremely angry, but angry enough he supposes.

It's not as though he doesn't like Obi-Wan, it's just Obi-Wan is... not Xanatos. Then again, nobody is or will be so he makes the most of it. Obi-Wan is able to take care of himself - or at the very least, Xanatos isn't interested in actually hurting him too badly - so Qui-Gon has become comfortable with letting whatever happens happen. Besides, maybe someday Xanatos will actually stick around after dropping Obi-Wan off.

It is on one such very quiet afternoon that Qui-Gon finally gets his wish. Well, kind of. Part way through the day finds him sitting on the sofa, contemplating the mysteries of the Force (but mostly just eating some nachos) when his commlink chimes. The wavering blue image makes him stop short, nacho halfway to his mouth, a dollop of melted cheese making its way down off the chip. Luckily he's wearing his snacking poncho. "Hello, Master Qui-Gon," says Xanatos du Crion, tossing his hair over his shoulder theatrically. "How are you today?"

Qui-Gon looks down at the nacho in his hand. Putting it down would mean ruining the delicate balance of meat and cheese, so he shoves it into his mouth before responding with, "What do you want, Xanatos?"

"Missing something?" Xanatos asks smarmily, playing his role of two-bit villain.

Qui-Gon rolls his eyes. "I already know you're holding Obi-Wan," he says as he chews. "As long as you bring him back by curfew." He trails off and shrugs. "Do you know what curfew is?"

"Do you?" Xanatos counters. "Don't worry," he adds. "He won't be harmed."

"Who's worried?" Qui-Gon asks, shoving another nacho into his mouth, chewing slowly as Xanatos swivels the holocomm away from himself. The new scene takes a moment to come into focus, but once it does it becomes clear what is happening. "What - is that a tentacle demon?" Qui-Gon can just make out the outline of his Padawan amidst the writhing tentacles. Two of the tentacles are in his mouth, and Qui-Gon has a pretty good idea of where several of the others might be. But he seems healthy enough, if a little irrtated, because Obi-Wan doesn't like to be sticky.

Xanatos sighs, sounding much like a petulant teenager, but the sound is very much a 'yes, that is a tentacle demon' kind of sound. Qui-Gon likes to be right. "Goodbye, my old Master," he says, and cuts the connection. Qui-Gon shrugs and goes back to his beloved late-afternoon snack of homemade supreme nachos.

******

"Are you serious?" Obi-Wan squawks as Xanatos marches him up the steps of the Jedi Temple in broad daylight. Even though he can see other Jedi milling about - there's Master Windu, even! - nobody seems to notice or care that Obi-Wan, who has been missing for at least the entire afternoon, is being led back to his Master's quarters by who is, for all intents and purposes, his Master's sworn enemy. "Shouldn't there at least be alarms going off or something?"

Xanatos pokes Obi-Wan in the rear with his lightsaber. "I don't hear any," he says, smugly. They arrive outside Qui-Gon's apartment door and Xanatos reaches into Obi-Wan's utility belt, once again firmly fastened around Obi-Wan's waist, along with the rest of Obi-Wan's clothing, which has been painstakenly resituated on his body by Jerry, the tentacle demon, who is surprisingly gentle when he wants to be.

"Seriously, I can't believe you keep being able to just waltz in here without being captured," Obi-Wan continues. Xanatos seems to be ignoring him in favor of extracting a length of rope from Obi-Wan's utility belt and winding it around his wrists. Finally, plucking a length of gauze from Obi-Wan's first aid kit and shoving it into his mouth, he remarks, "I can't believe you keep being carried out of here while being captured." Next comes the netting, shot out from the mechanism and firmly encasing the Jedi Padawan from head to foot. "Mmmphh!" Obi-Wan protests.

Xanatos just shakes his head. This time, he has pulled out a single sheet of flimsy and an ink pen, and has attached the flimsy to Obi-Wan's back. Obi-Wan can feel the pen pressing against his back through the flimsy, but he can't tell what's being written. "Mmphfgggh?" he asks.

"There we go," Xanatos says, moving to tuck the pen behind Obi-Wan's ear but seeming to think better of it and slipping it into his own pocket. Before Obi-Wan can make any more muffled noises at him, he knocks on the apartment door and runs, leaving Obi-Wan there, bound and gagged and wholly unimpressed by the whole thing, really.

After what seems like fifteen standard minutes, the door slides open to reveal Qui-Gon in nothing but his snacking poncho. "Hello Obi-Wan," he says jovially. Obi-Wan tries not to scowl.

Qui-Gon moves to put a hand on his Padawan's back, but stops short, noticing the sheet of flimsy attached there. He looks at the flimsy, then at Obi-Wan's face, then back at the flimsy and starts laughing. Hard. Now Obi-Wan can sense the presence of additional Jedi, all of whom were mysteriously absent scant moments before. "That's a good one," he hears someone - he's pretty sure it's Kit Fisto - snort.

As Qui-Gon leads Obi-Wan painfully slowly back into the apartment, the rest of the gathered Jedi get a better view of what is written on his back.

It is a simple directive, one that tells onlookers exactly what occurs when Obi-Wan spends time with Xanatos du Crion. In crisp neat letters are the words 'Deliveries in Rear' for the galaxy to see.

Qui-Gon never tells Obi-Wan just what made him guffaw with delight, but even years later, he thinks back on that moment in time and smiles.

 


End file.
